LOVE IS…… What IS it? (inspired by Dr.Ali Khwaja)
True to the words said by Dr.Ali Khwaja from Banjara Academy.. “Love is perhaps the most misunderstood emotion of a human being.”
While we were children we have observed many forms of expressing love and as adults what we observed then is what is inbuilt as our concept of what love is all about. If we had, had parents and siblings who cared and taught love in their form of showing it out to the world, we as adults would go a step beyond and that would actually help our children understand that unconditional love is not just given by parents to children but to the larger society. If we start early in our display of giving love, the society to come by in the future will be a loving society.
The difficulty in the above concept today probably is the fact that your love has been crumpled and thrown in the dust bin many a times and we do not want our children to go through the same and hence we hide them from giving love to others, or even observing the as adults, that we are capable of giving love.
Many a times undying love is expressed by couples but they hardly concur with each other in small things and daily life, it’s not that they do not love each other but the love is superseded by intelligence, the intelligence to think, ponder, analyse, decipher, decide and conclude, that they are right and the spouse is wrong, at times it’s easier to understand that The three magic words for a good and close relationship is not just “I love you” but “You’re probably right” as Dr. Ali says “Love is not looking into each other’s eyes, but looking in the same direction together.”
As the material world takes us over in supersonic speed, we are governed by gadgets, the gurus have been taken over by Google and Wikipedia, relationships have become a status on a virtual wall and we live more with faces on a book rather than face to face, we only learn wanting to experience love and the way we go about it is putting up a profile picture and see the number of ‘likes’ and that makes us happy, we are more into receiving love while the real joys in giving love, giving love without any expectation, without any menu card attached, is it possible?
Yes, it is, the reason why we are scared to give love is because we are afraid if the other person in question hurts you, your heart will be broken. And prior experiences create bad memories, but we fail to keep a record of the good things that we have shared with each person we loved and while it lasted there were moments and memories of joy, happiness and it’s only because the person matter so much to you, you recall the hurt.
Hence, if we reduce the memory meter of bad things that happens to you with a particular person to increased memory meter of the good things that happened with the same person, the hatred vanishes and the love you can express will bring about more happiness within you, as a matter of fact when we hate someone, as Dale Carnegie said : “They would dance with joy if they knew how much they were worrying us. Our hate is not hurting them at all, but it is turning our own days and nights into hellish turmoil.”
To leave the rest to the reader’s capable mind J Krishnamurthy says in “Think on these things”
To love is the most important thing in life. But what do we mean by love? When you love someone because that person loves you in returns not love. To love is to have that extraordinary feeling of affection without asking anything in return. You may be very clever, you may pass all your examinations, get a doctorate and achieve a high position, but of you have not this sensitivity, this feeling of simple love, your heart will be empty and you will be miserable for the rest of your life.”